Not Going Back to Normal

I seen this image on Instagram earlier this week and I could not help but reflect on it. This year we have had so many changes in the world and many of us have been put into very uncomfortable positions. Many of us have lost our jobs, lost people we love, and lost a sense of reassurance. This year is allowing us to learn about ourselves, seek truth and understanding on how we can better ourselves as individuals.

Two weeks ago the world received the news about a man named George Floyd. George was an African- American man who was killed during an arrest in Minneapolis on May 25, 2020. His death became world wide news and protests became the loudest response to Floyd’s death and also towards police violence against black people within the United States. This was broadcasted not only in America but to the rest of the world. The US has been fighting against racism for many years and has been seeking for justice for many innocent lives lost due to systemic racism within the country.

George Floyd’s death allowed the world to reflect on the truth about racism. Many people were involved fundraising for the Black Lives Matter Cause, Donating, and/or coming out to the protests. I know for a fact that racism still exists and is much alive not only in the US but also Canada. Canada does paint more a picture that we more accepting than those of our neighbouring country (the US) but we are far from being perfect.

My daughter and I went to the protest that happened last week. It was the first time that our city held a protest for Black Lives Matter and I felt it would be a great way to expose my daughter to what was going on in our city and to the stories that had been broadcasted about black innocent lives lost in US and the whole world prior to the protest. Although my daughter didn’t really understand the depth of what was going on in the world knew she had a base understanding.

My daughter is young but has already seen and learned that the people in our world may look different, have different thoughts and opinions. She goes to a predominantly white school where minorities of colour are less than 25% percent. Rebecca is the only black girl in her class but she stands proud about her differences amongst her peers. I truly believe that we as people are not born racists and that racism is definitely learned.

I had to tell my daughter about racism when she was in grade one. One day after school Rebecca looking very sad and with tears in her eyes. I didn’t really know what was going on with her but I kindly hugged her and asked her what was going on. As tears streamed down her face she quietly explained how a girl from her class told her that “Black girls weren’t as pretty as white girls”. Once I heard this I immediately felt hurt myself – hurt in a sense that my daughter has faced something that she did not deserve and obvious hurt from the lie that her classmate has told her. As she was telling me I could not help but think who may have taught her classmate that it was okay to say this hurtful statement and how did skin colour come up even as a topic in her grade 1 classroom?

I hugged my daughter and told her to not listen to people and their negative opinions. I had reflect for a second on what I would say to her because I knew this was going to be something she may not experience just a few times and may experience throughout her life. I told my daughter that the colour of her skin makes her special. She is rare and she is beautiful and just like so many black woman in history her skin colour represents strength and courage. I had to tell my daughter that the world isn’t going to be very fair and there are still many changes that need to made in this world for people to see each human life as equal regardless of race, religion, gender, or social class. I had to tell my daughter that this was something that was not okay and that it was something that she had to be vocal about because it was important to remind people that the colour of a person’s skin cannot not validate the intent of their heart. Heart is skin deep and there will be always good people and people in this world but it’s important to be mindful to even those who may hurt you because we may not know what they are going through or where they may have learned the hurtful things they do from. I told my daughter to not let people walk over her and have her voice be heard for what is right and true and to always do it with kindness.

As a single mother to a daughter who is black I feel that it was my duty to research and learn as much as I can to know more about the history and oppression of black people in North America. The movement right now is something that she will be able to look back on and learn from. She has already had story of encountering racism in our own city but from George Floyd’s case the world was allowed to view it and reflect upon what needs to change. Racism has been going on for far too long and these moments are definitely steps towards positive change.

2020 has been a tough year for many people already but I truly believe this is a year of self discovery, development, and change. I am grateful for this year because it is a time to get down to the nitty gritty and start being the change as individuals. This is time to cease the moment when the world has seemed to stop. No, we should not go back to “normal”because the old “normal” of hurt, pride, and injustice did help us. This is our time to make a new change and make a better life for our future.

What are you doing with your time? What will you do today that will make the better place tomorrow?

Getting Over Fears

The world knows but does not always understand that it is important for us to recognize 3 main things these or our wants, needs, and worries.

In our lives it seems that many of us are wanting to get out of the rut of living a life that is unfulfilling. It may seem impossible to reach our desires or goals seem to be be so far out of reach. Many of us don’t take the time to break things down and recognize the steps . Allowing ourselves to reflect and learn more about ourselves is the first step in moving forward.

When we are able to dig deeper from the surface we will truly understand the depth of what we will need. The first step we need to do is learning about our fears. Our fears are usually things that we developed and learned when we were younger this could have been from school, our parents, family, and friends. These things could be words that may have been said or things that may have happened to us when we were younger that somehow damaged parts of us. We may have had a had unpleasant memories in the back of our minds and maybe never realized how much it has effected us as an adult.

When we take the time to recognize these things we will understand that these block can make or break us. It’s important to learn about these things in order for us to build upon them. These fears are your blocks but these blocks and wall you put up were there to protect you from getting hurt. But the truth is that if you don’t take the step in moving past feeling sad for yourself you will never be able to grow.

Be with your fears – recognize them , understand them in depth, and let them go.Yes, they are a part of your story but they were never meant to stay in your heart. Take your fears as a building block learn and move past them.

When we choose not to move past our blocks and be courageous that is when we will start living more purposefully. This is the first step in becoming who are meant to be.

3 E’s

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In one of the courses I am taking right now I learned about The 3 E’s of Passion & Personality. This concept is streamed from the DHARMA model- this concept allows us to understand what is already naturally inside us instead of putting ourselves into boxes. Learning about the 3 E’s allows us to reflect on who we are. Knowing and being aware this can allow us to shift into where we need to be. This can apply to our jobs,  our relationships, and where we live and work.

The 3 E’s are :

  1. Element: Your genius and your tendency. ( The skills or knowledge you have or are naturally good at)
  2. Environment:  An environment that suits you. This can be where you are living or working. Like the fish, we have environments in which where thrive in. There are some people that will find a big city quite energizing, exciting, and invigorating while others may need peace and tranquility that the countryside may bring.
  3. Energy:  The momentum that works for you.  This energy is usually the pace of how you like to do your work and pace of how you interact with others. For example, some people like to work in fast pace environments this can be environments like a recruiting firm. Recruiters tend to work very fast pace and usually will keep deadlines to fill this job is very demanding as you are interacting with multiple people many hours of the day and also working marketing the job. Some people thrive in a fast pace high energy work like this while others may like to take their time to do their best work with no specific timeline.

If you take the time to do this exercise you will understand what you are good at (if you can do this you can choose to grow if this is your passion),  you will understand your environment, and the energy you thrive in. This may change your mind about how you do things right now so take a slow approach to life and go deeper into your needs and desires.

Living on Purpose

Last week I joined a group on Facebook called the Jay Shetty Genius Community. I have been following Jay for a number of years on Facebook. Listening to his videos and also listening to his podcast called “On Purpose” .

Jay was offering 40 days of free mediation which was live on Instagram every morning at 9:30 AM. It was a perfect time for me to get back into meditation as I was home and during this time of quarentine sort of feeling unsettled. I made a promise to myself that I would join into the meditation daily (I did but had to with replays a few times). Getting back to meditation put me at ease and helped me to really settle into my thoughts.

I made this meditation a part of my daily routine since March I have been taking to meditate at least for 10 minutes a day.

I have been in Jay’s Genuis community for 10 days now but have learned so much. I have learned to break down my approach to life and understood what I truly need to work on.I am so glad to be part of an amazing group that allows me to grow everyday.  Our world sometimes see that getting a coach is a sign of weakness but I am truly understanding that it is a sign of wanting to grow and a sign of strength. When we surrender yourselves and be open to growth and be open to learn from those who seen success we too can learn to live a life of purpose.

As I go through videos I am understanding that little habits and things we do daily impact our whole lives. When we understand ourselves more and learn to get rid of the noise, and know where the noise is coming from we can learn about our fears, doubts ,and worries, Once we understand them we can learn and manifest on small things we can do daily to help us grow.

Just like in the book “Make it Happen” by Lara Casey.  Our life is like a garden the good things we do, the things that mak our lives count are the good seeds and the plant that take and suck the life out of the good plants are the weeds. I am hoping to grow more and more each day learning how to life on purpose and  pull weeds, plant seeds, nature, water, and watch the beautiful plants grow.

 

A Time of Mindfulness

I have now been at home for 4 weeks. I can’t say I am loving it but I also can’t say I am hating it either. My daughter is being homeschooled and I had to adapt to this new lifestyle of being at home. There were definitely a lot of mixed emotions in the household but we finally adapting to this way of life. I am also finding that there many ways that people are reacting to this situation that is happening now. Of course, all of us have different situations hope it doesn’t last forever but there are for certain things we can all learn from, from this moment in our lives.

Recently there has been so much that has been postponed, closed, or canceled

But we need to remind ourselves that not everything has not been postponed or canceled.

This is something I found on Pinterest…

  • Love has not been postponed, closed, or canceled
  • Hope has not been postponed, closed, or canceled
  • Self-care has not been postponed, closed or canceled

Instead of feeding our minds with negativity, we can fill our minds with the true positivity that surrounds us. In life, we will go through dark times but we have choices on how we can move forward.  There are many people are losing a lot right now but this time is truly an opportunity for people to grow, learn, and reflect on life. My university professor once told me “Positivity is a choice”. The message was short but stuck with me for years. We are what believe ourselves to be.

We truly have a choice to rise up from the negative thoughts in our minds. I am not a psychologist and I know that one size does not fit all.

Earlier today I learned about the 5 stages of grief. The five stages of grief are:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

I have learned that people will go through each of these stages of grief at their own pace some may move quickly through the stages while some people will need to take more time, and sadly enough there are some people who don’t know or move past some of the stages. I am no expert on the subject and each and every individual goes through different circumstances. Being aware of where you may stand will take time.

Mindfulness is a practice that I have been practicing for a few years. Taking time out of my day to reflect and let go is easier said than done but it’s a skill that we all can learn. Mindfulness is something we can use and carry with us throughout life. It’s a way of living, being, and tapping into your true self.

When you are mindful:

  • You are aware of the present moment and do not wish it was any different
  •  Unpleasant moments do not consume you with negative thoughts but you allow yourself to understand where you are and know that it won’t last forever
  • Pleasant moments are wonderful experiences but you know that you cannot hold on to them because you understand things in life will change

Above all,  this is a time to reflect and grow. We understand that the present moment is not just a stepping stone but its a destination where you are right here, right now is where you were meant to be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Making Moves

Living with Intention

Its been a whole year now that I have been out of school and doing the work thing. I have meant to write more after school as I thought that I would have “more time”. Boy, how was I wrong about that?

Creating white space and learning to live more with intention is one thing that is new to me but something that I want to continue learning about and practice daily. I hope to live more intentionally. This, I mean by living with purpose. Living a life that is more than just 1 page and taking time to know myself and understand what my heart truly yearns for. In the past year, I have been doing a lot of thinking. I have been moving very slowly in this process but even baby footprints in the right direction are still leading me to the right path.

 

Here are some of my options and things I am contemplating at this time:

 

Doing My Masters:

Why? Aligns to where I already have my degree and aligns with a lot of my credentials

Pros: Work said that they would pay for some schooling if it aligns to what I am doing with work. Will also take about 2 years to complete. Can build on my skill set while working.

Cons: wont be making a lot of money while I am in school, staying in Kamloops to save money for life.

Immigration Consulting:

Why? Always had an interest in immigration. New University- something to gain knowledge in and fits into what I want to do in the future

Pros: flexible as it is online, could work with where I want to go

Cons: won’t be making a lot of money, online course, 4 year degree

Building on My Skills as a HR Practitioner:

Why? This is what I am already doing this is something that I know and understand how to do. I feel like that I have the ability to grow here and I can also learn more skills on how I can be better. The HR role is constantly changing and evolving so there is also a lot of opportunity to grow and make it my own. I can also integrate my passions for wellness and marketing within my role.

Pros: I already have experience in it and can really build on my present skiills.

Cons: It make take sometime to be where I truly where I want to be

The other option is to find work more fulfilling to my goals. I have also completed my Yoga Instructor Training Course. I am keeping my options open but letting God lead the way !

Have you ever mapped out the options and map out where you want to go in life?

Start with a goal you can start today. Map it out. What steps will you need to take? How long will it take? Start small and start today !

 

Changes

It’s been a couple of years since I actually wrote in this blog. I always thought about writing again but never got the time. I know its not much of an excuse but life DOES happen… Writing is definitely an escape for me and I am just learning again to take my time to practice what I love and take time for myself and do the things in which I love doing.The last couple of years were tough with school, my daughter, and so many personal changes happening in my life such as relationships and really learning to be more independent.

I have just graduated my University Degree. I initially did not plan to go to the ceremony but  it was my best friends that really encouraged me to walk that day. I was so blessed to have my best friends there beside me cheering me on I also had my brother, my daughter, my cousin, and my aunt who were also cheering for me from the bleachers. I feel very blessed to have finally graduated as the past few years were not easy, as I struggled with depression and anxiety through the last couple of years of my schooling.

The thought of having graduated is quite unreal still and it is still sinking in . I am not sure what I want to do in terms of going back to school and/or finding work. I am currently working as a part-time HR Assistant at Cascades Casino , Kamloops as well as working part-time as sever/hostess at MATCH which is a restaurant inside the Casino.  This summer I plan to stay in town and keep my positions at the Casino. I hope to find a full time HR position in the near future and plan on moving to a new city to really get the feeling of how it is to  be away from the city I was born and raised in.

Although there were so many challenges I have faced and conquered I know there will be so much more ahead of me and I am very eager to conquer and accomplish all that I can.

 

 

 

 

Summer time fun.

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My baby girl is growing so fast and is already 2 and a half years old. Summer is almost at its end but I’m pleased to say that I had fun! This summer was full of activities and happenings and I had a great time spending the summer with my daughter Rebecca. Rebecca is a very active girl and she is one of those kids who can never seem to sit down for longer than 10 minutes. She’s always wanting to do something and be engaged with fun activities. Her favorite place to go to in the summer is to the swimming pool or the water park at Riverside Park. She loves the outdoors and absolutely loves playing in the water.

As she grows she I am seeing her personality develop. I find it very interesting to see how she interacts with other kids and deals with situations.  I can already see that my daughter is quite extroverted and seems to find friends quite easily. My daughter is very active and enjoys a high pace and fast active environments.

Rebecca has grown so much this summer at her age she is very moldable. I know as a parent I have a huge influence on molding her perception of world and how she deals with situations as she grows into an adult.

My goal is to be the best person I can be for my daughter learning more about myself, being kind,  and living on purpose.

 

My Funny Easter & Taking Much Needed Break

Well, it’s about 4 hours until the end of the long weekend. I enjoyed my break despite getting a bit of the flu for and a terrible stomach ache on Sunday, I feel that it was still a fun and well-needed relaxing break to spend time with family and catch up some sleep!

This year was my daughter’s second Easter. It was really fun because this time around she had more sense of what was going around and she got to discover what Easter is all about well in some way or another. On Friday we went to the church together she sat on my lap and she listened to the story of Jesus and the last supper. Kids don’t always listen in church but I feel that bringing her was a special time to bond and bring her up understanding that there is more to Easter then the Easter Bunny and Chocolate.

On Saturday I surprised my little girl with a basket of chocolate eggs and an Easter Dress she wore to church that day. She was so happy she started clapping and thanking me for giving her the surprise. It’s always a wonderful feeling to see and watch her face light up. I watched her as she explored her Easter basket it was funny because I found she was more delighted in opening and receiving the actual basket and unwrapping paper of the eggs then what was actually inside. Its funny thing how kids see the world through simplicity.

As a mom, I find it very rewarding to do some of the traditions that I grew up with with my daughter. Spending time with my daughter and actually living in the moment bring’s me so much peace and joy. As the world becomes more digital I learned that people are forgetting to live in the moment. We tend to have our phones out and check out notifications frequently. This allows us to be out of touch with the present moment.

As a young mom, I know that that this can be very true at times even for myself.  Social media is very addicting and can be very powerful in good and even bad ways. It is important for us to know our limits on how much time put into looking at our phones and social media.

We can learn a lot through the internet and connect with people so much easier but it is important to be aware of what we watch, who we follow, and what we read.

Here are some dark negative sides to technology that I learned:

  1. Perpetual Distraction:  The constant notifications, vibrating,  and flashing of phones has many of us being distracted and driven to interrupt what we are doing to check on our phones. In a study from UK they found that mobile users unlock their phones on average of 85 times per day. As we are distracted our minds our disengaged and we are unable to focus our attention on and consolidate things into our memory.
  2. Sleep Dysregularation: These days many of us bring our phones to bed whether it is checking on our social media platforms, our watching our favorite Netflix series this is something that many of us have come accustom to but now getting any benefits from. When bringing our phones to bed we are actually over-stimulating our brains which makes it hard to wind down and switch off as we are exposed to the blue light from our screens. When we are exposed to this light we tend to have poorer quality as compared to those who choose not to use their phones before they go to bed. Poor sleep tends to mean poorer resilience and higher levels of stress and anxiety.
  3. Work/ Life Balance:  As work can honestly be at our fingertips now many of us are finding to disengage from our emails and different work platforms. This leaves many of us to have a poor work-life balance.
  4. F.O.M. O.  (Fear of Missing Out):    As funny as it may seem a lot of people love to follow different celebrities and people who live lives that seem like a dream. We can also people that we know that may be on a trip, working somewhere cool, or getting back to shape and looking amazing.  Although many of these things were meant to be positive posts for many of us these can bring the feeling of FOMO. This can be very dangerous to the mindset as it can make ourselves feel anxious and feel like there is truly something we are missing in our lives.
  5. Social Comparison: We can’t help but compare ourselves to others and the people in our social circles.  Social media, by its nature, actively encourages social comparison.  People are comparing each other through the use of metrics- whether it is the number of likes,  followers, or views on different platforms. Although this should not seem so important people tend to obsess over these metrics which can lead to feeling inferior.

I am learning now that we need to learn how to balance and be aware of how much we are putting time into looking into how much we use our digital devices. When we learn how to manage and control what we see in our devices and how much time we use it we can actually learn to be more present.

When we are present we are able to live in the moment and live a life with impact and be present with the people that matter the most.

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Pride Awareness Week

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I have a strong belief that people should freely love who they choose to love.

Why hate against love?

Today was the first day of Pride Awareness Week at Thompson River’s University. I was glad to take part in the event today and help the Pride Club spread the awareness of Pride. Although I am straight, I believe people should love and be who they want as long as they are not hurting people in the end.

For Pride Awareness Week – we want to spread awareness and knowledge about different subjects of pride and gender to people who may not know about the different terms and the reasoning behind the avocation. It is easy for people to be very one-sided to what they think pride maybe. I have learned through the years you cannot judge a person by your own thoughts, opinions, and what you learn just from a third party. You can never seek the truth about things until you seek to understand and be open to learning the truth from the real people who know it and learned through experience.

This week I hope to learn and also open the eyes of others to seek understanding. Not throw info down there throats but let them know there is more to the black and white of people.

This week I did a lot of contemplating how and why people tend to judge others without getting to know someone. I find our world can be so harsh and pretty ignorant at times. This week I hung out with a lot of the members LGBT club on campus and was lucky and privileged enough to learn about some of their stories and battles that they have gone through as a young person in our small city. I learned about their challenges and how they faced bullies and even loved ones in their fight to find peace within themselves.

I could not even fathom how much they have gone through just for being them. I found some of these individuals to be some of the strongest people I have ever talked to in a long while.

As I grow I hope I can learn and be an advocate of knowledge and be someone that people can trust to switch mindsets.

If you are reading this now or from the future. I challenge you to get out of your comfort zone and get to know someone new – maybe this can be your neighbor, a  co-worker,  or classmate, or someone you see at the bus stop. Strike a conversation and see where it can go.  When we open our eyes to learn about people who seem different from us we can gain different perspectives and learn about so many things we may have not been able to learn just from our own circle of friends.

If you are interested in getting involved or learning about the LGBTQ Club on Campus. Please let me know!

Here are some of the topics that we are focusing on this week :

Monday- Orientation and Attraction

Tuesday- Biological Sex

Wednesday-Gender Identity

Thursday – Gender Expression

PRIDEEE

My Gender Bread Person ( No I’m not very artistic but I try)

PRIDE Week